Sing Along!

Cathy did some babysitting today.  My friend, Mike, left his little girl with us for the morning.  Taylor is not a year old yet, but she already has a favorite television show.  Her favorite is Yo Gabba Gabba.  When the music came on, her face lit up and she started leaning to the side to see the tv.  Mike said she has favorite episodes already.  This was not one of them.  The robot and fuzzy monsters started singing a song about not playing in the street.  Like Mike said, if adult humans told a kid not to play in traffic, they would just ignore the advice.  But a big fuzzy monster sings a song about the street being "for trucks, cars, buses, and other dangerous things" and it's gospel to a kid.  Cathy suggested that all lessons in school should be set to music.

That made me start thinking about what my generation learned from music, especially music on television.  How about Coke teaching "the world to sing in perfect harmony?"  Or McDonald's telling us that we "deserve a break today."  Tab letting us know that it's "a beautiful drink for beautiful people."  My favorite, "aye, aye, aye, I am the Frito Bandito!"  "You're in good hands with Allstate."  And "like a good neighbor, State Farm is there."  And finally, "when you say Budweiser, you've said it all."

Saturday morning cartoons had Schoolhouse Rocks public service ads.  They taught grammar with Conjunction Junction.  One taught that breakfast is the most important meal and that "a peanut butter and jelly sandwich any time of day, is a treat."  The one that needs to be brought out of retirement is How a Bill Becomes a Law. 

Our congressmen missed out on the first part of the video where "the whole process starts with ... the folks back home decided they wanted a law passed."  The idea doesn't start with the president, unions, or radicals from Columbia University.  It starts with "folks back home." 

I'm sure the song was edited to fit into its allotted time.  Because it never mentions giving billions of dollars in deals to the senators from Nebraska, Louisiana (sorry, it wasn't put in for only Louisiana.  Any state that suffered a major natural disaster in 2005 would be eligible.  At least as long as their state capitol rhymed with patton luge), and Connecticut.  Then let's turn on the water for a couple of drought-stricken California districts to get their votes.  Still not enough to pass.  Okay, tell the representatives that don't believe we should pay to kill babies that we'll take that part out later.  Really, we promise.  I think all that was in the original version of the song.  It just had to be edited out.

The best part though?  The animated version of the bill was a one page document rolled like a scroll.  That, of course, is just for television though.  The bill that created medicare was 28 pages, the one that created the interstate highway system was two pages, and the Constitution was four pages, six if you count the letter of transmittal and the Bill of Rights.  That many pages wouldn't look good on television.  It might look fishy, like they were trying to sneak something in.  Like maybe a takeover of something important, oh, say the student loan program for grins.  So how suspicious would a 2,700 page pile on the steps of the capitol look?  What could you possibly sneak into a 2,700 page mess?  Pretty much anything you wanted.  Just to be fair, post it on the internet three days before the vote, so congressmen, the media, and the public have a chance to read it and respond. 

Sing along, I'm just a bill, I'm only a bill...    

Everyone's a Winner!!

Read this book! Did you watch the Winter Olympics?  Yeah, me neither.  Well except for a short three and a half hour Saturday morning curling match (game? contest?)that is.  I still don't quite understand, but I just couldn't stop watching.  The fact that it was about 15 degrees below zero here in Gunnison probably increased my fascination with televised curling.  That probably also explains the Canadian obsession with the sport.

I saw from the final medal count that the U.S. dominated the X-game-ified version of the winter Olympics.  And that Russia had their lowest medal total ever.  Predictably, Russia was very upset.  I saw on the news yesterday that any Russian coach that doesn't resign will be fired.  Losing is not acceptable in Russia.  Beats the old Soviet Union response.  Coaches and athletes disappeared after disappointing performances back then.  Kind of a hyper-competitive response for a communist or socialist society, huh?  

If our current President holds true to form, he will soon be apologizing for our winter Olympians' rude behavior during the Olympics.  No, I haven't heard any stories about our hockey team trashing their hotel this time.  I mean their greedy grab of all those medals.  President Obama has tried his entire first year in office to right just this type of wrong.  Now, on a world stage, here's all these boorish Americans acting so, so, well, American.  You know, working hard and training for years, and finally performing better than anyone else in the world.  And horror of horrors, being rewarded for it!  It's just not fair, Americans collecting all those medals.  No wonder Chavez hates us.  How many medals did Venezuela get?

America's Declaration of Independence states that "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal..."  Created equal.  Not that we live equal.  Not that we have equal talents.  Not that we work equally. Not that we finish equal.  Not that we get equal rewards.  Everyone doesn't get a gold medal.  Everyone doesn't even get a medal.  But that we are created equal.  We have the same starting line.

Hopefully President Obama will be able to avoid this type embarrassment in the summer Olympics by proposing some rule changes to redistribute the wealth, I mean medals.  The 100 meter dash will have a staggered start.  Bolt will run 140 meters, the U.S. basketball team will have a 12 ft. goal and 4 players, some shot puts will weigh 5 lbs., others 10 lbs, and others 15 lbs., and of course Michael Phelps will have to wear a lead-lined Speedo.  Gold medals for everyone!  One big stage for the medal ceremony.  How long will it take for all those national anthems to be played?  What do you think the television ratings will be like for those Olympics?  Wrong!  They will be the same as all the other network ratings.  Remember, everyone wins!

Actually if President Obama held true to form, he would just forcibly tax penalize top performers by confiscating their medals and giving them to those who didn't do as well.  Now that's the Russian new American way.