Let's Pretend

As I've said in this blog before, I'm a big sports fan, especially football and the Dallas Cowboys.  So today, let's pretend we own the Dallas Cowboys.  We've got a pretty good head coach in Wade Phillips.  He's a good coach and everybody likes him.  He's a popular choice.  We feel pretty good about our choice.  Wade's the football guy, so unlike Jerry Jones, we are going to let him pick his coaching staff and players.

Wade picks his staff, none of them have been successful and seem to have some funny ideas about how winning isn't important.  We think, well, not who I would've picked, but hey it's Wade's choice.  Now, Wade's going on a tour of the NFL.  He visits Oakland, bows to Al Davis and apologizes for those Super Bowl wins in the 1990's.  Wade then promises that it won't happen again.  He will work hard to see that Oakland wins a Super Bowl soon.  Next stop, Seattle.  Same theme.  Jacksonville, more bows and apologies.  Similar stops in Miami, St. Louis, Tampa Bay, Tennessee, Houston, and Pittsburgh.  He visits 36 teams, won't be able to make it to Phoenix or Washington.  Only one more to go.  Huh?  Time to have a little talk with Wade.

We owners have a meeting with Wade.  He lets us know immediately that he doesn't care what we think about his methods.  We hired him and we knew who he was when we chose him.  We did listen during the interview, right?  He said he was going to "fundamentally change" the Dallas Cowboys.  Could it be that we just don't like white men?  Well, we are basically nice men and women, so we decide that maybe we are being unfair.  Let's just let the season start and see where it goes.  

Well, it doesn't go well.  Wade refuses to play our best players.  "It's time for them to step aside and let someone else have the spotlight for awhile."  Wade holds a press conference to inform the league that our combination of Tony Romo throwing to Miles Austin is too good.  In the spirit of fairness and to compensate for our past success, Romo won't be throwing to Austin, unless the opposing team has a quarterback/receiver combination just as good.   A reporter asks, what if the other team has a great running back and runs up and down the field scoring on you?  Wade says, no exceptions, unless their passing game is as good as ours, we will not pass, period.

We visit practice.  We have to do something about this!  Did you hear that?  Our offensive coordinator just told the team that "you can't expect to be number one in everything indefinitely.  One of the most appropriate responses to this degree of levelization of the playing field is to cooperate more, exchange more."  What?????  First of all, is "levelization" even a word?  What do you mean we can't be number one forever?  Did you hear the line coach?  He refuses to put all the linemen on the field at the same time.  Something about the stadium "tipping over and capsizing!!!!"  These guys are under contract until November!  And we're stuck with Wade for another two years.  Can we afford to wait that long?  We won't even discuss what he's done with the training room! 

Sound familiar?  This week our president has promised not to use nuclear weapons, even if we are attacked with biological or chemical weapons.  If the attacker has nuclear weapons, then we might respond with our own.  The "levelization" quote is straight from the president's science adviser, John Holdren (not to be confused with his attorney general,Eric Holder, who says we are a nation of cowards when it comes to race), in a speech to students.  He's also the author of a book advocating compulsory abortions and for putting infertility drugs in the drinking water, where necessary.  He was quoted as saying that infants eventually develop into human beings.  In his defense, Holdren says he wrote those books in the 1970's and they were only theory.  He wouldn't really try any of those programs.  Whew, I feel better now.  Remember the previous post about President Woodrow Wilson's eugenics program, led by Margaret Sanger (founder of the organization that became Planned Parenthood, quite a coincidence!)?  Holdren is President Obama's Sanger.

I wish I caught the name of the lady on Fox last night.  Commenting on President Obama's stance at this nuclear summit, she said that instead of "speak softly and carry a big stick, this president's policy is to whisper and leave your stick at home."  I wish he would follow that policy on domestic issues too.