Homer for President

I know this one was supposed to be about oil, but once again, I have been redirected by President Obama.Yesterday, the president announced the details of his groundbreaking plan to reduce the $14 trillion deficit substantially in only 12 years!  How substantially?  (Use your Dr. Evil voice here)  By 4 triiillion dollars.  Wow.  $4 triiiiillion is a lot of money.  Coincidentally approximately the same amount that has been added to the deficit in only two and a half years under Obama.  So, he can add $4 trillion to the deficit in two and a half years.  But cutting the same amount in any less than ten years is irresponsible and cruel.  Anyway, the president that everyone in the mainstream media agrees is the most intelligent president in our history (Thomas Jefferson, what community did he ever organize?) announced his plan yesterday.  He never bothered to introduce a budget for fiscal year 2011, so the extra time he took on this budget really paid off, huh?  It was a riveting speech.  Well, riveting for everyone, except Vice President Joe Biden. Or the lady behind him.  Or pretty much anyone with a brain. 

Upon hearing his speech, I thought immediately of Homer Simpson.  In a flashback episode showing the arrival of his youngest daughter, Maggie, Homer had just left his job at the nuclear plant.  He and Marge had just paid off their debt (ironic, huh?) and he was able to pursue his dream of being a bowling alley pin monkey, even though the salary was lower than he was receiving from Mr. Burns at the nuclear plant.  Of course, Homer excelled at the job and was happier than he had ever been in his life.  When learning about the upcoming birth of Maggie, Homer realized that he couldn't support his growing family on the pin monkey salary.  He first asked his boss at the bowling alley for a raise.  The business couldn't afford to pay a higher salary.  Homer said he was sure he could triple the revenue at the bowling alley, so the owner agreed to a raise if Homer could deliver on the increase in sales.  Homer immediately goes home, puts on his reading glasses and starts studying a copy of Advanced Marketing.  Soon that text is in the trashcan and Homer is studying Basic Marketing.  That book quickly lands in the trashcan as well and our hero is reading the dictionary.  Then the eureka moment hits Homer.  The next scene shows him in the bowling alley parking lot, firing a shotgun into the air, shouting "come bowl here, come bowl here."  Predictably, there was no increase in revenue for the bowling alley, although his promotion did draw a record number of law enforcement officials. Homer was soon back at the dreadful nuclear plant.

Which brings us to our brilliant president.  As presidential adviser and Regulatory Czar, Cass Sunstein said, "there's a little Homer Simpson in all of us."  So President Obama studies and listens to his advisers, and formulates his brilliant plan.  He goes to George Washington University to announce his plan, and all America waits breathlessly to be amazed.  Sort of an economic version of Shock and Awe.  This is going to be brilliantly amazing, if not amazingly brilliant.  So what does the presidential teleprompter announce?  Tax the rich.  The wealthy should pay more.  Tax the rich.  No wonder the VP is snoozing.  We've heard it all before.  Over and over and over and over.

Brilliant.  Maybe President Obama should've been firing a shotgun into the air while chanting his mantra.