Hamster Balls Next?

Yesterday I wrote about how my sarcastic comment, "socialism starts in kindergarten" seemed to be part of a real plan, when an education organization wrote that it is "important to teach Marxism in elementary school."  Well, that was only the beginning.  I also wrote almost a year ago about the government being so determined to "protect" us that we would soon be rolling around in people-sized hamster balls.  Well, once again, I underestimated the absolute insanity of the ruling class.  On Monday, New York's Department of Health released new regulation proposals for supervised summer activities in their state.  The department stated that "risky" activities like wiffle ball, kick ball, dodge ball, and red rover "presented a significant risk of injury" and needed to be regulated more closely.  The enforcement of the  new regulations would of course be funded by a $200 license fee for all day camps, summer camps, and activity centers.  After a few hours of national ridicule, the New York Department of Health pulled the proposed regulations.  "The practical effect is that we are not going to get that detailed and into micromanagement."  When you think about that statement by department spokeswoman Claudia Hutton, she's not saying they won't regulate children's activities, or drop the proposal to impose the $200 fee.  They are going to be more broad and vague in the language of their regulations.

And if you think my hamster ball suggestion was funny, take a look at this site.  I have always said that the reason Bobby and I made such a dangerous pair as children was that I would come up with ridiculous, fun, and dangerous ideas and Bobby would actually do them.  Maybe if I had a friend like Bobby today we would be  "people ball" tycoons!  Where are you, Bobby?

You'll Put Your Eye Out!!!

My favorite Christmas movie is Christmas Story.  Like the kid in the movie, I always wanted a bb gun.  I think mine was a Daisy though.  Like the kid in the movie, mom was afraid I'd put my eye out.  Like the kid in the movie, I was persistent.  Like the kid in the movie, I finally got my gun.  I shot everything in sight.  My favorite target was our trash barrel.  I shot it laying on my belly commando style.  I shot it kneeling on one knee.  I tried to shoot it Rifleman  style, you know, twirling it to cock it and shoot in one motion.  How did he do that?  And I shot it standing too close.  And like the kid in the movie, the bb just didn't have the penetrating power I expected and bounced off the barrel right back into my glasses.  Fortunately, unlike the kid in the movie, my glasses didn't break.  But the incident sure got my attention.  After that I shot mostly cardboard boxes, which took more imagination to turn into German tanks.

My mom and sisters think I even looked like the kid in the movie.  They are getting a little old, because I know I was much cooler looking.  Must suck to get old.